NOTE: This post is one that allows my readers to know me better, it is my belief that when I allow people to know me, the real me, to be authentic, then people are more inclined to want to follow me. Writing this was highly cathartic for me, but I think that people who have no desire to know me better should probably just skip over this post, as I acknowledge it is a bit long.
When I turned 40 in 2008 I had an epiphany of sorts. I decided I needed to change my thinking. As I now approach my 43rd Birthday this journey is starting to take hold. How do I know this? I am acknowledging a change in the way I feel.
I talked a bit about it back then and joked with many I thought the analogy that described my thinking was that of a football game, and at 40 I had just reached half time. This seemed logical to me as I said “If I live past 80, I am on borrowed time anyway.” Of course any astute observer would ask me “whats the score at half time?” To answer that question I would like to maybe analyze further. If 40 is half time then 20 was the end of the first quarter. Here is how I would say my game was played in the first half.
The first quarter saw me play pretty conservatively. Playing the game not big, but not small either. Try to limit mistakes and stay in the game, without falling too far behind. The first quarter ended with me right in the game, and I would say I made a big score right before the first quarter ended as I stopped wandering, and decided to enter post secondary education.
The second quarter started with a bang, with another major score, as I met the love of my life, Tanya, at 21 years of age. I am in love with her more today then I was then. I married her, three years later and we had two wonderful sons before I was 30. I was on a roll. If you measured my success from 20 to 30 with money and/or stuff, then I think you would say I was woefully behind in the game. However if you measured it with joy, peace, happiness and love then I was so far ahead in the game. The problem is, and I think this is the clue to the epiphany that took over 10 years for me to have, is I was following the lead of others, most specifically by how I think society keeps score, and therefore how I was keeping score, and I lost my way. I thought I was behind in the game, when really I wasn’t.
To be sure I was certainly always driven to be a success, as I am sure many of my readers are, but I definitely had a misguided view of what success is and how it was measured. Therefore the second quarter took a nasty turn. I was so far ahead in the game then but as they say in sports, momentum is a powerful force.
As the latter half of the second quarter (from 30 to 40) started I focused everything on only one part of my game, my work, at the expense of everything else. At the age of 32 I received a major flag on the play as my wife informed me that she was tired of my ways and was going to leave. I am so thank-ful for the lesson that brought about balance between work and life. It is something I still struggle with from time to time, as I’m sure many of you do. Tanya continues to lovingly remind me when I have gone too far. I am so thank-ful for her love for me and supporting me even today as I work through my current shifting mind set.
The second quarter ended with the largest surge I have ever had in my life. Money was flowing in like never before and was being dutifully spent on much “stuff” and experiences. From that perspective again I think many people watching my game would say I was far ahead. As I write this and I reflect on that period I would also have to judge that I was ahead as I was incredibly happy, and fulfilled. However I would say that I was playing the game with a high degree of risk, actually an unhealthy level of risk. Again, that is easy to say with the benefit of hindsight, hardly a day goes by when I don’t wish someone had told me to not play so risky, or if they were I wish I had been listening. That period of time would be characterized as an undisciplined pursuit of more. More money, more stuff, the guy with the most toys at the end wins, was how I thought one should keep score in the game. Again, I was happy, fulfilled, and joyful how I really think we should keep score, but I think those feelings were being propped up by the stuff, and the thrill of the hunt.
Here we are back at half time then. The year I turned 40 was a bad year. Remember 2008? The world was ending, or so many thought. To be sure it was a year when you should not have the bulk of your fortune in one basket, I suppose that really is a lesson for any time. I justified it of course, as I always do when dealt a stinging lesson, that my money should be in the things I know. Looking back I think I was telling myself I knew more about Real Estate development then I actually did, LOL.
Now we are at the epiphany, I know this was quite a long tangent, actually I think the lessons that I allowed to absorb are many, and there were many epiphany’s that have me arriving here today. I am inspired to write the lessons I learned, and the ones I will learn, here on this blog. For now let me share some random thoughts. The next while will see me expand on these thoughts in future posts;
- The score in the game is whatever I want to use, my experience tells me the best score though is measuring my feelings of excitement, joy, happiness, impact, and true fulfillment. Keeping score based on the pursuit of MORE is unworkable for me.
- To that end I am experimenting with the mindset of minimalism. Less is more. I am excited to share my thoughts with you as I go on this journey
- I am working on a whole new set of values. That is not to say that my previously held values go away. Not at all, I believe that they will always stay with me, but that I can stretch myself to absorb a new set that supports the journey I want my life to take now. My next post will talk about this more
- The biggest lesson? Accepting support. I am thankful I allowed my coach into my life. I know well supported people tend to improve faster over time. The greatest gift Keith has given me was crafting my vision which I know is still somewhat of a work in progress, but we are so close. I recommend you follow his inner thoughts on his blog
- Another great contributor to my mind shift was the highly talented folks at Extraordinary Learning and their intense leadership workshop called 21st Century Leadership. Check them out if you want to take your leadership game up a notch.
- Finally if you would like to expand your thinking about minimalism then I will put some sweet links for you to review. I have dedicated an entire category for me to write about my experiments with minimalism and balancing that with entrepreneurialism
Courtney Carver and her blog Be More with Less has been refreshing to follow. Some of the minimalists I have been following, and I am considering stopping, are hard core. I know in every idea there are extremists and part of me admires their commitment, but in this case extreme minimalism would have me selling all my things, burning my car, and living out of my back pack for the rest of my life. Although sometimes that may sound inviting for me, I know this would not go over well with Tanya, LOL. Courtney is a Mom, and her writing is thought provoking check it out.
Joshua Becker is new to me. I think his thoughts are intriguing and I have enjoyed his latest posts. Check out his blog Becoming Minimalist
The Mac daddy of them all is a fellow named Leo Babauta and his blog mnmlist Even when you see his blog you will see what I mean about living as a minimalist. I have recently bought his latest e-book about Focus. I will share my thoughts on future posts, and if it is as good as I hope and think it will be, I will recommend it to you.
Let me end with a humble thank-you. If you got this far then I think you are one of my people, and I would like to get to know you better. Please comment below and let me know, where are you in your game. What quarter are you in and do you feel you are ahead or behind. Finally, what are you going to do from here to stay ahead, or to catch up? I think the path is, change my thinking, which changes how I feel, which then powers me to action.
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By Lisa T, November 7, 2010 @ 10:07 am
Awesome post, Greg. Thank you for sharing. I think I had mentioned that I feel as though I am on the verge of something BIG, but can’t quite put my finger on it yet. Funny that I am approaching my own ‘half time’ (still a few years off, but approaching at a rapid pace, nonetheless!) and I can see much of what I have been thinking in the thoughts you’ve shared. I am a true believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’ and that you meet the people in your life when you are MEANT to meet them ~ so the question then comes out ‘what was the REASON that happened, as it isn’t always evident in the moment, and WHY did I meet this person when I did … again, what was the REASON?’. You have been inspiring and the journey thus far has taken me leaps and bounds ahead of where I feel I have even gone in a short-period of time. I don’t necessarily mean in my business, though it is evident there as well, but in my thinking. Thank you again for sharing and I look forward to following your journey as I work to fulfill my own
Lisa, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate the acknowledgement, and I definitely consider you one of my people. Let’s have fun together on the journey.
- Greg
By JoeT, November 7, 2010 @ 11:19 am
hey Greg,
Great Sunday read. I too have a strong wife, Nicole, who helps keep me grounded, balanced and “disconnected”. I tried to fight it for so long, but now realized that she is the smartest person i know. Now through my commitment to follow your lessons learned combined with new ideas i feel i am entering a new era of Joe.
thanks Greg have a great Sunday, disconnecting now!
Joe
Here’s to Joe 2.0! I know exactly what that means as I actively and consciously create Greg 2.0. I appreciate you and your tenacity, I have much to learn from you.
-Greg
By Alyson Thiessen, November 7, 2010 @ 1:34 pm
Like you one said to me “the authenticity and vulnerability works for you”. Greg as always your post is believable. I want to know you better and am thoroughly excited to be on a bit of the journey with you. Thank you for inspiring!!! Success is not my bank account but possibly my friend count and more specifically the friends who stuck through the dark years. I consider you one of those friends.
Alyson, you are special on many levels. I think your passion and your excitement for things is infectious. I think I have much to learn from you.
- Greg
By ScottB, November 7, 2010 @ 1:49 pm
Greg,
Great read, perfect reflection on a rainy Sunday here on the East Coast. At 35, I confess that I still have an attraction to ‘things’ as you know, though materialism isn’t overboard, acquiring ‘things’, ‘toys’, ‘recognition’ etc. can often come at the expense of life’s true quality moments. Funny the timing of this post, I had this conversation with my wife this morning, as I was working on a very important project (work related), but knowing in my head that I am neglecting other areas of my life at times as a result (ie. time with my wife!). As I type this, sitting in my office (not my home office), your post has caused me to realize this on whole new conscious level, for that I am thankful! I appreciate the candid insights you provide to both your community and to me personally when you are out this way. Keep up the good work, and you will truly be rewarded!
Scott
Scott, thank-you for reaching out like you do. I appreciate you and look forward to learning from your insights as well. I think you know I am here to chat at any time. I am really feeling empowered to step out with more insights and encouragement from my people allows me to feel more courage. Thank-you
- Greg
By Keith, November 7, 2010 @ 3:19 pm
Thanks for this cowboy. Very courageous.
Thanks to you as well. I think you know how special you are to me
-Greg
By Bob C., November 9, 2010 @ 11:28 am
Wow, you certainly are comfortable with ‘putting yourself out there’ – the openness is refreshing in this world of phoniness & unabashed egos; however you know me and I’ll keep it more mainstream as most of us ‘baby-boomers’ do.
I do love the analogy and as I enter my very early 4th Q. I will use this to assess my score and how I think I am doing. It will also be cathartic to go back over the first 3 Q’s and I promise to at least dip my toes in the water and try to keep going even though I may not always like the answers – your openness will motivate me!! Thanks for the read and I look forward to further updates as it is great to watch you learn and grow so much!
Bob
I continue to learn from people like you who have gone before me. Thanks
- Greg
By Kelly S, November 9, 2010 @ 2:00 pm
Greg you continue to amaze me!! I have been with you through many of your highs and lows and am always impressed with your ability to embrace change and create positive results. You truly motivate and inspire me and I am so grateful for all your continuous help and support as I go through my own journey.
Kelly, I am aware that the people who are closest to me is where I draw my greatest strength. I think you give me as much as I give you. I can’t wait to watch you grow into the entrepreneur that you were born to be
-Greg
By Michael Kingston, November 9, 2010 @ 2:37 pm
Hey Greg – I’ve followed your thoughts and progress for the last 3 years since I’ve joined Royal LePage Foothills. I’ve found your perspective to be always interesting and I’ve enjoyed watching you build your business and keep on the cutting edge of technology. I am a bit ahead of you at half time, but only by a couple of relative minutes. I had the epiphany about 9 years ago. One result of this epiphany is a coffee house in Black Diamond called The Stop. This was a business that I started as a response to my corporate marketing days and a sense to seek out what “real people” and “real community” meant. Everyday I have a coffee there and although I am not involved anymore on a day to day basis, I get to hang with “the real”. If you want to meet a “real” minimalist then “Larry” at The Stop is a prime example…it doesn’t get any more minimal than his needs. Keep providing your great perspective…because you’re on track.
A story – I was driving across Canada heading back to Ontario to visit my family. I had my 2 kids in the “family van”. My wife Leah was to fly to Toronto to meet us. My commitment to the kids was that we would stop at every Dairy Queen from Calgary to Jackson’s Point. We camped along the way…one night we missed our camping destination, lost somewhere in the fog around Thunder Bay. At about 2am I announced to the kids, that I wasn’t sure where we were going to camp. We pulled off at a roadside lookout, rearranged the van, and the 3 of us slept in it that night. To this day, which is 5 or more years later, if you ask my kids “what is one of your most memorable vacation moments” I can guarantee you the response will be “the night we slept in the van with Dad”…that is what life is about….
LOVED that story. I promise I will stop at the “STOP”. I drive through Black Diamond often on my way to Fernie, or when I am out for a ride on my motorcycle. I hope to find you there. It sounds like I have much to learn from you. I hope you will be a regular visitor here, and contributor.
- Greg
By Bernadette, November 20, 2010 @ 8:00 am
Hi Greg, my bookkeeper has told me for the last 4 years to focus on how much I need and not to stress myself by making more than that. She said I need to spend more time with family and friends and that I shouldn’t let my ambitions rule my life. Being a minimalist will mean less stress and more joy for me and my family. I mean that in terms of my goal. I am already not attached to possessions and things, I like shopping and I don’t buy designer things because I don’t identify myself that way. I mean more about my goals and ambitions, it will be difficult to switch my frame of mind to something less tangible than mortgage volume. I have always set loan volume as my goal and it sounds like I need to aim for something different. I am glad you are there to guide me through…to figure it all out.
By Bernadette, November 20, 2010 @ 8:01 am
Oops I meant I don’t like shopping not I like shopping. I have never enjoyed shopping
By Michelleb, February 17, 2011 @ 10:57 pm
I love how authentic you are in this post! Congrats on creating your BIG game.
By Greg Williamson, February 17, 2011 @ 11:04 pm
Thanks Michelle, I appreciate you for taking the time to Read and comment